I have failed in CSIR JRF NET June 2021. It is very tough to handle failures in life especially when people admire you, look up to you, and see you as their inspiration.
I'm not that smart and intelligent enough to clear this exam. I have failed in UPSC too. Even I failed in semester exams during my BSc. And this is not enough my friend .
From school time when I was a kid I was a bit dark complexion and since my skin color was not as white as my classmates I was bullied but I never complained about that and managed to overcome all those hurdles with my talent, my creativities, and my hard work.
I studied hard and even got 99.9% in my exams from KG to1st then again life changed and I shifted to the English medium school from 1st again I found a different atmosphere because now I was admitted to boarding school and you know how english medium is for a hindi medium student . 1st two months were very horrible but then I found Harshita Agrawal as my friend with whom I have learned things improved my English with the grace of Sadhya ma'am and then I never looked back and back to back I became a rank holder. then again my best friend left me and went to a different school and once again I was alone. When I was in class 5th I lost my masi and after a few months I lost my father and very next year lost my dadi(grandmother) it was a heartbreaking and uncontrollable time. I was so introvert that I never shared my pains and with what I'm going through with anyone. I was living with that pain and it was very tough to even utter a word. But time is a natural healer and it can heal any wounds. My very close friend at that time Shalu di, Aafreen brought a smile to my face. you were my support system at that time, but still, that emptiness was killing me inside than from the 6th standard I got three angels of my life Deepti ma'am, Kanchan ma'am and Sheetal ma'am . They took care of me as their own child and nourished me into a good hume being with these three angels my life became adventurous and full of excitements. whatever I'm today is because of them only. We use to go for outings, movies, star gazing and story sharing those memories are still fresh in my mind which always brings a smile to my face. I became such a bright student at that time that nobody ever came near my edge but things changed and in 2008 I changed my school. Since I was an introvert and it was too difficult to manage my new school environment I made only one friend in my next school st. Xavier's. Sanover, you were my life savior from class 8th to 12th you never judged me by my grades, my skin colour and introvert behavior. I can proudly say that I made one such a good friend at that time who will always be close to my heart then after that my life again changed and for graduation, I went to Govt. M.H. college of science and home science there I met Jyoti my funny, simple, and pure-hearted friend. Jyoti, you will always be my best friend for the rest of my life. During Bsc. Again tragedies never left me alone and I lost my younger brother Rahul. Rahul, I miss you Bhai. I remember how I gave my final exams at that time. I was crying and writing my exams. The whole examination hall was echoing with my weeping and tears but somehow I managed that too. I got back to back ATKT ies but I made myself strong and fought against all those failures. After some time I went for studying MSc. CS in JICS their I found Richa ma'am who was such a brilliant teacher that even a simple dought she explained with grace and calm. but after 6 months since my results of BSC. ATKT didn't come out before the exams the management didn't allowed me to give Msc CS exams. I cried and urged them to give me the chance for giving my exams but they didn't listened. I left that institution and started preparing for UPSC exams. UPSC changed my whole mindset in 2017 I gave my first attempt and tried my luck but again I failed then seeing failure joined Kautilya academy in 2017 for my UPSC preparations their again I found very pure-hearted and nice people who are still in contact and especially I found Anushikha Dwivedi as my soul sister, Sunita didi and Aanchal Shukla as my best friend's. And also some good friends Biraj, Pragyanand, Nitin, and many more My life again came on track and we were fighting together, studying together everything was going smooth till 2019 but after a great failure in PSC as well as UPSC I changed my Carrier path and shifted my focus on PG. I got admission at Govt. Science College Jabalpur in 2019 my life again turned into a smooth way and I found Samridhi ma'am as my mentor. Ma'am, you hold a very special place in my heart. You are such a humble, pure-hearted teacher. You always motivated me, cleared my silly doughts without any anger, and became a mother identity for me. Your teachings will always be a life changing and a source of motivation for me.Akash Pandey sir who is so cool and brilliant teacher. Sir has always given his strong support till my MSc. finals and still if I find any dought I directly ask my mentor Akash sir for his guidance and he immediately solves my issues easily. Thank you Priyanka Dubey ma'am for your support, thankyou Sapna ma'am for your guidance. This college was such an amazing journey that my words can't even explain that in much detail. My special friend zone Mini Agrawal, Satyam, Goldy, Pragya, Rahul Rohit, Deepesh. You all will be my best buddies for the rest of my life, especially my best friend mini and my soul brother Satyam. You are my family. I'm blessed that you all came into my life and made it beautiful, amazing, and fun. Besides my real family, I got one more in you all. I'm thankful to everyone who directly and indirectly helped me to learn more, explore more, and become a better version of myself. I failed in exams but I can proudly say that I have cleared all my exams in life with distinction. I never lied to my family about my exam results and this honesty and genuine nature of mine always showered upon me the rain of love, respect, and opportunities in abundance. So this was my rollercoaster life journey till now. I know life is unpredictable and it will always give me the taste of success and failures but I promise to myself that I will handle everything with my level best.
With the same smile on my face and courage in heart .....God bless you all and thankyou for reading my experiences šš
Comments